Here's What Writing with 6,000 Readers Feels Like

Sunday Coffee☕ + brain freeze🧊

I had just three days to write this post.

Naturally, I spent the first two in deep spiritual warfare...otherwise known as procrastination.

Three days, three drafts. None of them worked. At one point, even my phone gave me a side-eye, like “Ma’am, are we doing this or not?”

And yet, just a few days ago, I posted a note that somehow reached over 6,000 people on Substack. Over 500 likes, 30+ restacks, very thoughtful comments, and a handful of new subscribers.

The numbers are still climbing. I don’t even have the words (which is ironic for a writer). I’m just deeply, overwhelmingly grateful.

Y’all are truly the best.❤️💐

That one post did more than I expected. My older posts started performing better. And I felt inspired to write even more. To show up more. To speak more.

But then... something shifted.

When it came time to write again, I sat down with this new pressure humming in the background: “People are watching now. Better not mess it up.”

So I stared at the blinking cursor like it was judging me. I became scared—scared that I’d embarrass the one who sent me, that I’d say something wrong.

That I’d lose the momentum I didn’t even ask for.

It didn’t even help that I ended up paralyzed by a cup of coffee yesterday. And I’m not even a coffee drinker, so that definitely backfired—but that’s a story for another day.

So yeah... 3 drafts in 3 days. And today? My final deadline. Still nothing felt “perfect.”

That’s when I had to pause and ask myself: “What changed?”

Everything felt lighter when I had just six subscribers. When I could post a note that reached one person and still count it as a win.

I could speak the mind of Christ boldly, without fear of being misunderstood. Without craving likes or applause.

And then I remembered: my Sunday editions aren’t supposed to be polished sermons. They’re supposed to be flawed, human, real heart notes.

So I stepped away from the draft, and stepped back into the reason I started.

Until I can write without validation being the fuel... I’m pausing.

Because God didn’t call me to chase engagement. He called me to be faithful. To speak truth. Whether to six people or six thousand. As Paul wrote:

For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.

—Galatians 1:10 KJV

So yes, I’m wildly grateful for the thousands this message has reached. But now? I have a new prayer:

God, try my heart.

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts. And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

—Psalm 139:23–24 KJV

I’m still on assignment. Still showing up. Even when the words don’t come easy.

And if today’s post reads more like a journal entry with a caffeine hangover, at least it’s an honest one.

Love,

Ahbiee💌